Archive for the ‘jul09ussue2’ Category

Unlike famous celebrities like Michael Jackson, where the whole world found out about his death within hours, the entertainers listed in this article weren't as well known. In fact, some left us before they even had a chance to fly, dying before they reached the age of 35. When younger entertainers like Aaliyah and Left Eye passed, a great deal of people knew about it. In the case of these talented entertainers, it's a different story.

The entertainers in this list may have had a role in your favorite movie or television show. They may have sung or created a tune in a song that you're familiar with. You may even have their music stored on your iPod. Some of the people who are aware of their works either found out that they died years after the fact, or never learned about it at all. Some of you may have been wondering of their whereabouts, not even knowing that they have passed on. Lets just hope that the people that you're wondering about aren't on this list. Here's a list of entertainers who died under 35.

Norman Gibson (September 18th 1951 – September 29th, 1976)
I'm sure many of you have seen this movie. Gibson was best known for his character Robert in the movie Cooley High. He was murdered in an altercation over a dice game a year after the movie was released. He was only 25 years old.

Wylie DraperWylie Draper (May 5th, 1969 – December 30th 1993)
Wylie Draper is known for playing an older Michael Jackson in the mini-series The Jacksons: An American Dream. This was his first acting role ever. Throughout his childhood, many felt that he looked like Michael Jackson. Like Michael Jackson, Wylie Draper was also a dancer, working as lead dancer at Disney World and on cruise ships. He was also a dancer in Michael Jackson's Remember the Time video. He died from a rare form of leukemia a year after the mini-series aired. He was only 24 years old.

Corwin Hawkins (March 12th 1965 – August 5th, 1994)
Hawkins is known for the character Wayman (Peaches' gay roommate) on Low Down Dirty Shame. Before landing this movie role, he was a popular stand-up comedian in Texas. He also took part in, along with winning, many female impersonator competitions, including Miss Gay Texas in 1991. He died of pneumonia shortly before the movie's release.

Dedrick D. Gobert (November 25th, 1971 – November 19th, 1994)
Gobert had roles in the popular hood movies Boyz N the Hood (as Dooky), Poetic Justice (as Lloyd), and Higher Learning (as Fudge's friend). He was shot to death during an argument at a drag race. He was only 22 years old.

David B. Cole (June 3, 1962 – January 24, 1995)
David was a record producer and member of the dance group C+C Music Factory. C+C Music Factory was best known for their song Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now). He has produced music for artists like Mariah Carey, Aretha Franklin, and James Brown. He died of spinal meningitis. He was only 32 years old.

Darren Robinson (June 10th, 1967 – December 10th, 1995)
Robinson was one of the pioneers of beatboxing. He was also the founder of the Fat Boys, making up 1 of 3 in the group. They were featured in the movie Krush Groove (1985) as Disco Three before changing their name to The Fat Boys. He died of a heart attack at the age of 28, which was weight related. He was 450lbs at the time of his death.

Bruce Edward "Damian" Broadus (September 13, 1966 – June 27, 1996)
Broadus made up half of the Damian Dame duo. Damian Dame was an R&B duo, and was the first act ever signed to LaFace Records. They were best known for their songs Exclusivity, Gotta Learn My Rhythm, and Right Down To It. Damian died of colon cancer at the age of 28, only two years after Deah died in a car accident on the same date.

Rob Pilatus (June 8th, 1965 – April 2nd, 1998)
Pilatus made up half of the group Milli Vanilli. A few of their popular songs include Baby Don't Forget My Number, Girl I'm Gonna Miss You, and Blame It on the Rain. In 1989, it was discovered that Milli Vanilli were lip-syncing when performing Girl You Know It's True at an MTV concert. In 1990, Milli Vanilli's founder, Frank Farian admitted to reporters that Morvan and Pilatus didn't sing any of the songs. This resulted in Milli Vanilli's Grammy award being taken away, Arista dropping Milli Vanilli from their label, and lawsuits being filed against both Arista and the Milli Vanilli members. This eventually drove Pilatus into a deep depression that led to drug abuse and various suicide attempts. His body was found dead in a hotel room. He died of an alcohol and prescription pill overdose at the age of 32 years old.

Michelle Thomas (September 23rd, 1968 – December 23rd, 1998)
Thomas was most known for her characters Justine on the Cosby Show, Myra (Urkel's girlfriend) on Family Matters, and Callie Rogers on The Young and the Restless. Thomas was diagnosed with a rare intra-abdominal desmoplastic small round cell tumor that's usually found in adolescent boys and refused treatment. As her health conditioned worsened, it became difficult for Thomas to do scenes on the set of Family Matters. Due to this, her scenes were cut shorter until she left the show in 1998. She was only 30 years old.

Robert Earl Davis, Jr. (July 20, 1971 – November 16, 2000)
DJ Screw worked with artists like Lil' Flip, Pimp C, and 2Pac. He died from a lethal combination of codeine and alcohol, coupled with exhaustion. He was only 29 years old.

Marlon Brando (1979-May 11, 2001)
Brando made up 1 of 3 in the hip hop group Sporty Thievz. They were known for songs like No Pigeons and Street Cinema. A drunk driver was swerving his car onto the sidewalk when Brando pushed a little girl out of the way to prevent her from getting hit. As a result, Brando was hit and killed. He was only 22 years old.

Kenny "G-Love" Greene (January 17, 1969 – October 1, 2001)
Kenny was the lead singer of the R&B group Intro. Intro is best known for songs like Come Inside, Let Me Be the One, and Love Thang. He also produced most of their songs, along with songs for music artists like Mary J. Blige. He died from AIDS complications at the age of 32.

Melanie Janene Thornton (May 13, 1967 – November 24, 2001)
Thornton was the lead singer of pop group La Bouche. They were known for songs like Be My Lover and Sweet Dreams. Three months after Aaliyah died in a plane crash, Thornton died in a plane crash the day before Thanksgiving. She was only 34 years old.

Merlin Santana (March 14, 1976 – November 9, 2002)
Santana was best known for his roles Stanley on the Cosby Show and Romeo Santana on the Steve Harvey Show. Accused of attempted rape by and underage girl (which is claimed to be a false accusation), Santana was shot to death by her boyfriend while sitting in the passenger side of his friend's car. He was only 26 years old.

Keven "Dino" Conner (November 18th, 1974 – January 28th, 2003)
Dino was the lead singer of H-Town. H-Town was formed by Dino, his twin brother, Solomon "Shazam" Conner, and their long-time friend, Darryl "G.I." Jackson. They are best known for their song Knockin' the Boots. Leaving the studio after working on H-Town's comeback album, a SUV that ran a red light struck a vehicle carrying both Dino and his 22 year old pregnant fiance, ejecting them from their vehicle. His fiance was pronounced dead on the scene, while Dino died on the way to the hospital. He was only 28 years old.

Carlton Williams I (1979 – October 2003)
Although he only acted in one movie, Williams was best known for the character Clinton (Crooklyn's brother) in the movie Crooklyn. He died at the age of 24 from complications of sickle cell anemia.

Artimus Lamont Bentley (October 25, 1973 – January 18, 2005)
Bently was best known for his role Crazy K on Tales from the Hood, and Hakeem Campbell on Moesha. He was driving on a highway when he ran over an enbankment, causing him to be ejected from his car and into traffic, where he was then hit by five cars. He was only 31 years old.

James "J Dilla" Yancey (February 7, 1974 – February 10, 2006)
J Dilla was a producer and of the hip hop group Slum Village. He produced music for artists like A Tribe Called Quest, Busta Rhymes, and Common. He died due to a rare blood disease called TTP and he was also believed to have lupus. He was only 32 years old.

Tony Thompson (September 2, 1975 – June 1, 2007)
Thompson was known as the lead singer of 90's R&B group Hi-Five. Hi-Five was best known for their songs I Like the Way (The Kissing Game), I Can't Wait Another Minute, and Just Another Girlfriend. His body was found lifeless outside an apartment complex. He died on an accidental overdose of freon. He was only 31 years old.

Chad Lamar Butler (December 29, 1973 — December 4, 2007)
Butler, also known as Pimp C, was a rapper and producer. He made up half of the music group UGK. His death was caused by an accidental overdose of codeine cough syrup and promethazine (a prescription drug), on top of a preexisting sleep apnea condition.

Stephen "Static Major" Garrett (November 11, 1974 – February 25, 2008)
Static was a singer, rapper, songwriter and producer. He was also a member of the R&B group Playa, known for their song Cheers 2 U. Songs that he helped produce include:  Pony for Ginuwine; We Need a Resolution, Rock the Boat, and More than a Woman, Try Again, and Are You That Somebody? for Aaliyah; Pony, Same Ol' G, and So Anxious for Ginuwine; Say My Name (Timbaland's Remix) for Destiny's Child; Addictive for Truth Hurts; You Owe Me for Nas; and Lil Wayne's Lollipop. He died due to complications from a botched medical procedure that caused him to bleed to death.  He was only 33 years old.

Orish Grinstead (June 2nd 1980- April 20, 2008)
Orish was the founding member of R&B music group 702. Although she dropped out of the group before 702 blew up, she took part in the popular R&B song This Little Game That We Play featuring Subway, and rejoined the group on two different occasions for short periods of time as a temporary replacement. She died from kidney failure. At the time of her death, she was suffering from cancer that had yet to be treated, along with other undisclosed ailments. She was only 27 years old.

Vegetarians:  Do We Make Better Lovers?I expect to get a lot of comments on this topic. As a vegetarian, I am bias. I would like to think I make a better lover than a meat-eater. I would like to say I have more energy which makes me able to go longer and stronger. I would like to think that I am more of a sensitive lover because I don’t eat meat. But, just because I would like to think that, doesn’t make it so. The other day, I came across a comment left here, and I thought it was worth sharing and then letting the mud fly!

My soul mate, lover and spiritual husband transformed from a meat-eater to vegetarian to vegan. As his diet changed he changed. This man went from being an angry, aggressive, repressed, deceptive, lying, fearful little man who hid his love to being gentle; fully self expressed and committed to his love of me and his own examination of self and the culture of the world we live in. He loves all people and all animals He is the best lover and man I have ever known. His love making has grown over the years. He became vegetarian initially because I would only date a vegetarian so I have only made love to him as a vegetarian and now as a vegan.”

As a neophyte vegetarian and neophyte relationship our lovemaking was furious, intense and almost angry. When I would make suggestions we try something different or gentle he would become angry and stop completely. I stopped asking. In private, in bed, he said I was a gift from God. He loved me so but he hid his feelings about me from all his friends and family. They thought he couldn't wait to get rid of me. I stopped the relationship. I dated a very nice meat-eater and he was great but the sex was terrible. I can't stand his taste, his smell. When he eats meat around me I am totally turned off. The smell, the taste, and the soul it was just not there.

My soul mate never left me although I had left him. He was always around wanting and waiting for me. He transitioned into the Vegan diet and became gentle, loving, openingly expressive of his love for me… most of all he became a great LISTENER. Our relationship blossomed in ways it never had before. By his example of transformation I became Vegan as well. Our lovemaking shifted. He is gentle, sexy and subtly seductive. His smell is the best aphrodisiac in the world. He just has to be near me or hold me and I am melted to desire in an instant. He is like a flame, his smell, his lips, his taste… delirious. In the time it takes to inhale his scent I am so… ready for him. He is the love of my dreams… no one could possibly be better for me. Our slim, sexy bodies and souls fit together like God made us for each other. Monogamy is a blessing with a man like this… and a choice. Ten years of deep, deep love, sex, and soul mating that couldn't get any better… But somehow every time we are together we seem to reach a new, ever greater level of love, expression, communication, soul flight. -Ann

Now Ann expresses the fact that she didn’t like the way meat-eaters smelled. I would have to agree with her on this point, only because I’m married to a meat-eater and half the time I don’t like the way he smells. It drives me crazy. But, on the other hand, he sometimes complains about my breath because I love eating spinach and artichokes. He’s really not in the mood to kiss me after I have eaten that. But there are people who say that you have not felt passion until you have been loved by a meat-eater. It’s raw and exciting and naughty. Some people might think vegetarians would be pretty tamed in the bedroom because they are going against their natural instinct to eat meat. But is it natural? Well, I’m no scientist, but I can attest to the fact that for this vegetarian, there is never a dull moment in the bedroom.

I think what it comes down to is when you fall in love, rather it is with a meat-eater or another vegetarian; it should be the best sex you ever had because you love each other. But I want to know what you all think. So please comment and let your voices be heard. Do you think vegetarians do it better?

http://www.eatveg.com/veglovers.htm

Friends...No Benefits!So I went to turn on the radio the other day and was appalled by what I was hearing. See, I’m the I-pod kinda chick, so I’ve sort of been out of the radio loop (but I stay updated on music). I was surprised to find that relationships have TOTALLY gone out of the window and have been replaced by none other than “cutty buddies.”

What happened to the days when love songs took over the radio? And their art imitates life because recently, some of my friends have been in similar situations. One in particular really got to me because she has been playing the role of a girlfriend, neglectful that she is only a friend. For the sake of this discussion, I’ll call her "Keisha."

Keisha is kinda in a situation where her Cutty Buddyship isn’t going so well. They are doing everything that couples do, yet that official title is nonexistent.

It's starting to cause problems. Catching feelings is a hard thing, especially when it’s been a long time since someone made you feel that special way. I'm silently fighting for this. I deserve it…to love and be loved. Man, I remember the days…it felt so good. I want that back. I thought it was coming, but I’ve realized one thing; WE AREN'T IN A RELATIONSHIP, you know?

OH TRUST ME, I KNOW! So I’m telling her like I’m telling you: LADIES, GET AHOLD OF YOURSELVES!

We as women sometimes have the habit of staking claim to something that doesn't belong to us. Somehow we get caught up in these situations where we are playing the role of "wifey" without the official title. Now if you do this and can handle the repercussions of having a "cut buddy," then by all means do what you do, and do it well! However, if you have fallen victim to being stuck in a "relationship" that isn't truly a relationship, you need to get it together. You cannot expect for a man to make the next step if you are already giving up the booty, cooking dinner, washing his clothes, etc. Explain what the point in making you his "girl" or "wife" is?

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

We live in the days of everybody getting free milk and it's getting outta hand. Ladies, you can't be mad that a man is doing what he does if you haven't set any boundaries with him. If he is simply a cut buddy, leave it at that. If he is just a friend, please, just stay friends. Once you cross that line, it’s very difficult to go back and attempt to put these restrictions in place. You find yourself doing all the things that his "woman" would do, yet you still get put in that "good friend" category. When his phone rings and it’s another female, you get upset, yet you never discussed with him the dynamics of your situation.

BIG MISTAKE!

When you meet a guy, or if you get involved with one of your friends, it is important that you two have a common understanding of the situation. If not, someone will end up catching feelings and get hurt in the end, and you could ultimately ruin a good friendship. It's best to just put everything on the table, and go from there.

Here are a few tips that may help you along the way:

  1. Communication is key; no one can read your mind.
  2. Never assume ANYTHING.
  3. If you are seeking a long term relationship NEVER settle for FWB’s. (He’ll take you for granted and again, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?)
  4. If you are going to the next level with a friend, make sure that you’ve truly thought about it. Once you cross the line, you can NEVER go back!
  5. Know what it is you want before involving anyone else in your life’s equation.
  6. If either party in the relationship and/or FWB can’t abide by the rules, KICK THEM TO THE CURB!

These very simple tips will help you when you are trying to figure out what’s right for you. Ladies, please stop falling victim. I too have fallen prey to this and it just needs to end. If you can’t be a FWB (friends with benefits), then don't pretend to. Just tell your partner what it is you what and need and if he can’t fulfill those needs, kick his butt to the curb!

PERIOD!

July 27th, 2009

Dear Diary,

I'm sorry that I haven't written in a while. Nothing much has changed, other than my becoming a little bit more social (if hanging out with one person counts). It feels like Brittany and I are long lost sisters reunited and I've become attached to the children as well, babysitting them three times a week. Babysitting makes me feel as if I serve some sort of a purpose, unlike my job, where all my other coworkers (besides Brittany), treat me like I'm practically nothing. Let me tell you about Brittany's three children!

Chrissy is Brittany's oldest child. She's seven years old. She's so adorable. She looks like a younger version of her mother, only she's chubby. Her red hair is always separated into long, shiny plaits adorned with barrettes. She's two times bigger than other kids her age. She walks around like she's the Incredible Hulk, as if she's in charge, which is hilarious. She's also the most outspoken.

Tyla is six years old and is the complete opposite of her sister. She has brown skin with the most beautiful big, brown eyes. Her hair is a lot shorter than Chrissy and is always in cornrows. She's so tiny that you would think that she's deprived of food, until you see how she eats like a 250lbs man. She always looks like she's surprised with everything that's going on. Although she's very shy and soft spoken, she has her share of questions.

Deon is four years old and he never sits still! He looks like a male version of Tyla with the same skin, hair, and eyes. He's the smallest and acts like he's the strongest. I had to put him in time-out numerous times for being too rough on his sisters. Not only that, but he back-talks me. Sometimes I get the urge to yank his little ear, but I can't because he's not my son.

Although they're quite annoying, always asking for something every five minutes, or wanting to chat with me about the pointless things that children like to talk about, I appreciate their company. Also, when I talk, they listen. Even if I get a negative response, it's still a response. Sometimes I feel like their mother…although I'm in no shape to be a mother right now.

I will admit that the first day I babysat them, it was nerve wrecking. They didn't seem as talkative towards me when their mother was around. Now that she wasn't around, it was if they got a little bit too comfortable. It was almost as if they were giving me an interview. They all asked handfuls of questions, but Chrissy was in the lead.

"Why don't you talk much?" asked Chrissy.

"I don't have much to say." I replied.

"How old are you?" asked Chrissy.

"I just turned twenty." I replied.

"When's your birthday?" asked Chrissy.

"June 30th." I replied.

"Ain't that SpongeBob's birthday?" she asked.

"HUH?" I replied.

"You got any kids?" she asked.

I replied "No."

"What are you infertile or something?" she asked.

I was really taken aback by that question and it's not a question that a seven year old should be asking. So I replied "Spell 'infertile.'" Then she changed the subject. They really drained my energy, as it seemed as if the kids were either getting into an altercation, getting hurt, wanting to play games, or wanting something to eat or drink every five minutes. When Brittany finally came home, I ran out of there like a soldier who was held hostage for months.

I came home to another note on my door from Ronald's wife. She still doesn't seem to realize that I haven't seen him in months. I would very much not like to confront her, as I don't like making scenes. Brittany offered to talk to her for me, but I'd rather not have other people handle my battles. I also don't like adding "extras" to the equation. In the note was another Bible scripture. Here's what Preacher Wifey's most current note says:

This is the way of an adulteress: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, "I've done nothing wrong."

-Proverbs 30:20

She's still oblivious to the fact that I didn't know that Ronald was married. I try my hardest to put this whole situation in the back of my mind and not allow it to get the best of me. However, I can't do that if I keep receiving notes that remind me of why they're being sent in the first place. I don't know what to do.

Make Your Buck Stop HereWe’ve all heard the mantra “Support black business.”  Many of us have heeded the call repeatedly.  Some have been pleased.  Others have sacrificed quality service in the name of loyalty and sisterly patronage.  Whatever the experience, we can agree that black business and its success is integral to the black community.  Black Business Month gets underway in August and now is as good a time as any to apply 2009’s ubiquitous change we can believe in.

Black purchasing power now exceeds $900 billion and is fast approaching the trillion dollar mark.  It’s an impressive stat, given intrinsic obstacles and disadvantages.  But even more staggering is the amount spent with black-owned businesses – a mere 5%.  A sobering thought to say the least.

Preaching aside, this month can be used to not only patronize, but start a business.   Many a pundit and advisor have noted a recession presents the best time to start an operation.  If you haven’t heard, 2009 qualifies for the r-word.   Recent hard times have caused many rethink spending and saving strategies and this is just the approach for commerce.   Consequently, those other r-words – respect and responsibility – are making a comeback and not a moment too soon.

We can often glean wisdom from the past; and the black community, despite its oppressed history, is no exception.  As much as we lament segregation and Jim Crow existence, somehow the black community thrived under separation.   In most towns, old placards from black-owned grocery markets, dry cleaners, and tire shops are collectors’ items.  Besides the church, hair salon and the occasional soul food diner, there’s hardly a black establishment around.  Black banks withered prior to the latest financial crisis.  Try to buy stock in a black-owned entity; it’s virtually impossible.   Even black hair care products are controlled by non-black hands.

It’s amazing to see the remnants of the past and wonder when the shift occurred.   Apparently, chasing the alleged greener corporate pastures and individual aspirations didn’t fare too well for the village as a whole.  Ironically for our community, “separate” meant unified and integration brought separation.   Fortunately, we can have the opportunity to rectify the socioeconomic landscape.  Hopefully, we can sport a retro look, proving what’s old is new in more ways than one.

Amid the optimism, black business is not exempt from the laws of competition and good practice.  In a world of options, even consumers with a moral conviction expect quality goods and service.  In order to survive, new and existing business owners alike must offer a value proposition while exploiting any sustainable competitive advantage.   There’s still truth in the saying “plan the work, then work the plan”.

Starting is undoubtedly the most difficult phase in business.  Start-up tasks can prove complex and intimidating to most seasoned professional, even before sifting through the red tape of incorporation and the broad ramifications of risk.  Likewise, fleeting resources and dismal economic outlooks can further discourage any enthusiastic would-be-entrepreneur.

Yet, there’s still help for those who seek it.  Business advice is often provided by non-profit and municipal groups.  Check your local library and city website for seminars and other resources.   Contrary to popular opinion, commercial and Small Business Association (SBA) loans are available to those who with a viable plan and outlook.   As an added incentive, many government and corporate entities actively seek to do business with black-owned businesses.

So this month, make a resolution to support a black business and if your inner mogul fancies, start one (or write the plan).  As our commander-in-chief lectured us, there’s really no excuse.  I too have snarled at the not-quite-like-the-menu-description entrée or the higher-than-everywhere-else price tag for similar items.  But what have I done about it?  Not much at all.  Yes, August is time for change – and risk – and reward.