It has taken me 33 years to finally grasp the skeletal concept of what “love” is. I say skeletal because the older and wiser I become, my definition of love seems to shift a bit. Love to me is to have a genuine concern for self and others. It also means being honest and committed to the betterment of self and all others (including animals, foliage, earth, etc). Love is forgiving, unexpected, unpredictable, messy, gentle and should rarely hurt (although, it seems to hurt more often than it should).
Love is the most important thing in life (at least that’s what I believe)…starting with self. If one can’t love themselves in the raw and unconditionally (without being arrogant), then one can’t love anyone else. I’m sure everyone has heard that before, but it’s true. My journey of self-love (please get your minds out of the gutter, lol) began when I was 26, prompted by the passing of my father a half year prior. That was truly a turning point in my life and I began to learn how to become comfortable with just me in my own skin, space, mind, and heart. It was the beginning of me learning how to forgive, which I believe is a huge portion of what love is.
What I’ve recently learned while reading the book “The Shack” (which I highly recommend everyone reads) by William Paul Young, is that love is also being vulnerable. At 33 years old, that’s where I struggle. I struggle with being vulnerable with others; the only person for many years that I had no problem being vulnerable with was my son, Kendall. He is 17 years old now, so that has changed a bit as he is temperamental and doesn’t seem to be moved by too much of anything! So, I’m back to square one, as it seems that I’ve hidden behind my son for many years and now, the jig is up!
Now what’s strikingly odd is that I’m truly in love with love, I love most things and most people (as I hate nothing and no one), but I do believe in depths of love. So, I guess for many years I’ve convinced myself that I was loving all these people, places and things unconditionally when in reality, I was loving most people, places and things superficially (which is a HUGE pet peeve of mine). Being in love scares me because I have to be vulnerable and that’s not something that I’m comfortable with yet. I’m a work in progress and am in much better shape than before, but again, I’m still in progress.
I’ve just touched the surface of this topic as I want to allow room for my thoughts to marinate and to also allow comments and feedback from you. I will retouch this subject in the very near future as this is a topic that crosses my mind on a daily basis, actually several times per day to be honest with you.
Remember, keep things simple and live simply so others can simply live.
Tags: Love, self-esteem, self-love
