Is this statement true, or does it  depend on the person?  I mean, sure.   We all have probably cheated at one point or another whether it involved sex or not, but should we be judged by our past?  In general, history repeats itself.  Historical behavior is an indicator of what is to come in the future.  But in some cases, it depends on different factors like:

• The maturity of the person at the time.
• Their remorse, if any.
• How long ago it happened.
• How many times it happened.
• The person’s attitude toward cheating now.

I mean, if my past did not involve you, why are you holding it against me? Is that really fair?  And if you cheated on your current partner, is it ok for you to hold their cheating past against them?  Anyone can mess up once, especially if they are on the young side, inexperienced, and/or naive.  But if they’re an adult who knows right from wrong, you have to look into their mindset and character.

I think it depends on why the person cheated in the first place.  There are so many different factors that can influence cheating like:

• Did your partner cheat because there was too much temptation or opportunity?
• Was it because you were going through problems in your relationship?
• Was it just for the thrill, or moment?
• Was it for the need for more excitement in the bedroom?
• Or maybe love don’t live there anymore; only comfort, or security.

Some cheating is easier to resolve than others. For instance, if your partner cheated on you when they went out for a girl’s or guy’s night. They cheated because there was too much opportunity and temptation. These are two of the factors that can be more easily resolved than others, even if it is resolved by the two of you going out together, or in groups, instead of separately.

However, if the cheating occurred because of something like:  your partner being a sex addict, or the level or attractiveness, or even worse, the desire to do more in the bedroom not being driven (For example:  If your partner likes receiving oral and you don’t like giving), that’s a problem.  These are factors that are hard to change, and they tend to be the reasons why people continually cheat on their partners.  While I do believe change is possible, it’s no walk in the park.  It ain’t easy.  It takes a lot of work and effort on both parties.  Without a strong commitment to change, or some type of counseling, a cheater will cheat again.

Obviously, there are exceptions to the rule.  Please don’t take anything that I write to heart because I am just expressing my feelings, opinions and personal experiences. If you need some advice, email me at maia[at]afroglitzmag.com.

Tags: cheaters, cheating, couples, relationships

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